40 and Not Fabulous

We have all heard it, one of many sayings that mark a milestone birthday. It is preceded by “thirty and flirty” and followed by another original and repetitive “fifty and fabulous”. Notably, clever sayings about your age, seem to not exist in popular culture outside of the 30-50 year range….and are certainly only ever applied to women, not men.

These sayings are troubling to me as a woman. They seem to be an assurance that, as you age, you still hold some value and spark. In your twenties you don’t need these assurances as you still have most of your life ahead of you. In your sixties I have to assume that wisdom and confidence have been gained enough that these tongue-in-cheek sayings are shot down by the recipient. Or is it perhaps that no one would dare mention your age after 60?

I turned forty last year and it didn’t feel important to me. I am in the middle of such an amazing time in my life that moving forward from 39 to 40 didn’t register and certainly not as a negative. Fast-forward to seeing my peers on social media who share my birth year. Proudly tagging their birthday posts with #fortyandfabulous and I was in awe. Our value as women doesn't need to be pointed out. We shouldn’t be reassuring each other with “fabulous” and “flirty” with in the context both seem a little sexualized. Our ability to gain a male partner and reproduce, surprise surprise, again at the top of everyone subconscious when they value a woman.

I’m still not a #girlboss and now that I am forty I am not #fortyandfabulous. I am someone who lives a happy life, runs a business that adds value to my community and my worth is not based on my gender and age.

#youwouldntsayittoaman #writtenbyarealhumannotAI